I'm Really Bad at This Whole 'Being Mad' Thing...

I cracked. After school. He offered me a Red Vine. I was about to cry, and I REALLY didn't want to do that. I tried to ignore him, but it just didn't work!
Maybe I should back up.
I saw him today in the Computer Room, but we didn't say anything.
He made me join Garden Club earlier in the year. The meeting was today at lunch. I took Lisa's advice and sat with a big group of people. I managed to act like I was having a great time at first. But Toby was sitting alone. It was hard not to glance over there every once in a while. I was feeling sick still, so Katrina got my lunch. He was talking with people, about New Zealand, and him going back. It's easier to fight tears when your head is buried in a friend's shoulder. Not really. But yeah.
At one point, he walked off somewhere, and was looking at something. This girl (whose name I have forgotten) followed him. I tried to keep from watching him while he wasn't looking.
She came back, and said that she shunned me for being Toby's friend. I was about to say that I wasn't, but, for once, I kept my big gob shut. She told me he had found something interesting, and wouldn't tell her what it was. She said he was weird. "Yeah," I said, seeing him coming back. "He's an idiot. A big idiot." I felt bad instantly. This is why more people would like me if I was mute.
When the bell rang, I packed up slowly, telling my friends to go ahead. I wanted to give him the chance to say something, at least. But he didn't.
As I walked slowly off, I cast one last look behind me. Unfortunately, he saw it, it seemed. He took the opportunity to ask if anything was wrong. I just walked away. I'm an idiot. By the way.
All throughout the day, I was really confused. How could he still ask something like that after all I said to him? How could he still care when he said he didn't?
The only time my mind was really off of it was--and it's weird to say this--when I was with Eliot.
In PE, Daniel said that Eliot had a big bag of candy corn, and ate half of it before second period. o_o Daniel also said he didn't like candy corn. Eliot and I were in shock. xD Eliot had apparently had too much sugar, and was bouncing up and down.
"You have a whole bag of candy corn?" I asked.
"Yes!"
"Do you want to give me some?" I could feel an grin spreading across my face.
Again, "Yes!"
"Yay!" I said, and did the rare (for me) girly clap. xD
Then we went and ran two laps. Eeeeew. Eliot, Will, Jake, and some other people wanted to either run backwards, or run clockwise, unlike the rest of us. xD The teacher wouldn't let them, though, when they tried. How rude. Pfft.
In English, Eliot gave me a candy corn pumpkin. Yum. =3 It was the only small thing I can catch. xD Later, he took the bag out again, and I leaned over to look past Will to him. He mouthed, 'Afterwards.' I mouthed back, 'Thank you!'
Eliot, Cassie, Christine, and I formed a group for Oedipus Rex questions. We kept getting way off topic, and doing tricks with our eyes, etc. xD We had a handwriting contest at first, and Cassie won by a long shot. (We wrote "strawberries").
As it turned out, she was being kind of "OCD"-ish, in Christine's words. xD We had a lot of fun, even if we didn't finish. And Christine, Eliot, and I decided to form a bad handwriting club, in which we would sit around and eat candy corn in. xD
Eliot gave me a handful of candy corn after class, which made up for my 48 out of 60 on the essay part of the Beowulf quiz. Dx
After school, I was at my locker with Lisa. Toby came out (of a classroom, not my locker. I don't usually store boys in there, though Rebecca stuffed her baby in there. Don't ask. xD) with an almost-empty tub of Red Vines from the Spanish, and held it out. "Want one?" he asked. As I said, I nearly cried. Trying to buy myself some time to think and calm down, I said, "Okay," and took one. "Thank you," I whispered. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he said. "You don't have to apologize any more."
I walked with him a few yards, and tried to explain that I really didn't mean any of it. I don't think I really succeeded much.
Later, Lisa's mom came to pick us up, bringing for Lisa her Bio homework, which she had stayed up until two to do, and forgotten at home. We ran around the school, trying to find our teacher, but with no luck. Finally, we went to ask our last-year's science teacher, who's room connects to an office, which connects to her room, if we could put it on her desk. He said yes, and she did so.
Then we took orders for Jamba Juice from Xiao and Yuriko, and collected money. We got Brittany's order as well.
Tomorrow, we get out early, and we have extra time between our first period (at a different school) and second period, so we're stopping by Jamba Juice. Lisa's mom is driving us and Sam.
Today, Lisa and I went to Jamba Juice, and I bought her and Christine a Jamba Juice. Christine was already in school. Haha. That was fun.
Lily and I are going out for lunch tomorrow. Yay! ^^ Since she had to quit band due to so much homework, I haven't gotten to see her much. =(
Right. So, I emailed Toby, and asked if he wanted a Jamba Juice--and apologized again.
Off to call Christine! ^^
By the way, have you seen this?
http://Akril15.deviantart.com/art/I-m-Happy-27520791
LOVE it! Lisa showed it to me. =3

Love,
Faye