I've been (mentally) hitting myself all day about Toby.
What do I do?
I was waiting for Katrina to get out of her class today before lunch, just sipping the coffee my (awesome) math teacher gave me, stirring it with the DumDum he gave me for that purpose. What did I do to deserve this, you ask? I raised my hand when he asked who wanted coffee. xDD Three people got some. Yummy. =3 I gots grape.
Steven and Stewart both got coffee as well. Both eighth graders. Steven spelled "triangle" wrong one time. xD He and the teacher have a deal that, if he doesn't talk in class (besides asking questions, of course) for a month, he'll get a pizza, all to himself. Not fair!
Our teacher is always cooking food in our class, which is right before lunch. It always smells so good! Ha, ha.
Oh. Right. Back to the point. xD
So, yesterday, I managed to avoid Toby by a) being late to second period (he has computers first period, so we usually see each other in between), b) having to take a group math test all throughout lunch (we got a freaking 84 out of 100!), c) getting to PE early, before he got out, and d) leaving QUICKLY after school.
Today, however, he asked for the book he had lent me back in computers. Proud to say I didn't a) hit him, or b) cry.
As I was waiting for Katrina, he comes out of the classroom, looks at me, and says, "I'm sorry." It was so casual that I asked, "For what?" in that dark way I have. Rofl. He replies, "For being an idiot, I guess." I look away, and he leaves.
What should I do? It wasn't exactly sincere, and I don't think he's even realized why I'm mad! Somehow. Guys are thick. REALLY thick, in Toby's case.
Should I accept his apology?
Ripley says to play hard to get. Pfft. Yeah, right. Haha.
Cassie and Lisa say that I shouldn't forgive him until he knows what he's done and apologizes better.
I'm leaning toward that, but I really miss him. Already.
It's really lonely to look at my email and see only our fight. And I know I owe him an apology, too.
I really wish I hadn't responded to the email by telling him I wish he would leave. That was awful of me. It's what he's always saying that people who hate him tell him; that he should just go back to New Zealand.
And, as much as I try to tell myself I hate him, something in my mind keeps coming back with three contradicting words that ring with the air of truth in my head.
I like him.
Help me?
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2 comments:
This sounds so... unreal? Like your situation isn't something that would really happen in life, but something you'd maybe read about in a novel... does that make sense? Maybe you know what I mean 'cause you feel the same way...
If it was me, I would definitely consider just plain going up to him and saying, "I'm mad at you. Do you have any idea why?" and see what he says. Then, I would probably decide I'm too chicken to do something like that and then mope around and wait for him to do something.
See, if YOU like HIM, maybe you should be the one to try to figure out how to fix this...
But what do I know?
I totally agree! Like, too...perfect. You know? Like, not good-perfect, but planned out.
Katrina said that he does know I'm mad at him. He apparently asked her about it, but she wouldn't tell him. He still didn't ask me. -.-
I really wish I had done that! Thanks. ^^
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