Shattered Illusions

Today was great. Until I got home.
I rode Bella again. That was a lot of fun. Afterwards, my dad and I went shopping.
I got home and checked my email. There was one from Toby.
I wish I had never opened it now. It was horrible.
He wants to go back to New Zealand as soon as possible, he told me. For good.
I had figured this out by now. No matter how many times he tried to reassure me that he just wanted to go back for a little while, it was always just too clear that he liked it there so much better than here.
But it got worse. He said he has friends here, but not really good ones. His best friends are back in New Zealand.
He said the only reason he'd want to stay is because they can't bring his bird.
A stupid bird.
And I thought we were friends. I thought he cared.
The floor rushed at me. I didn't care. Tears were running freely down my cheeks, as they are even now, an hour later.
I don't know why I cried so hard. I don't know why I cried at all. He's just some dumb boy. He shouldn't matter.
But he does.
As much as I wish I could just forget about him, I know I can't.
I can't get him out of my mind. It's driving me crazy. And I don't know why.
I'm sobbing silently now, tears splashing to the ground like rain. I open my eyes, and see myself staring back at me from the cracked mirror ahead.
I feel sick. Like, make-me-do-ten-jumping-jacks-and-I'm-going-to-throw-up sick. Uggh.
I'm going to stop now. Toby is a mean idiot. Bye.

Faye